JONSEY
OCTOBER
I first reached out to Rachel at Jonesy on a wild whim— in a late night DM I wrote… “Hey, I am a breast cancer survivor. Can I shoot a few photos for you to share to bring light to breast cancer awareness?” It was October.
Rachel responded to my outreach with such openness and warmth, asking if I might also be willing to share part of my story to go along with the photos. She also wrote, “I have to confess that I don't know a lot of women around my age that have survived breast cancer so I think there's so much to unpack & share on this front.” There really truly is so much to unpack when it comes to young survivorship and breast cancer awareness in young women— and we really only just scratched the surface.
HOW HAVE YOU GRAPPLED WITH A CHANGING BODY?
After my double mastectomy, where I decided against reconstruction, I had to get to know a new form. There have been some difficult moments and seasons of processing. I can’t help but mention the day I cleaned out my top drawers, throwing away all the bras and brand new lingerie that I no longer filled — in a fit of rage, tears, and grief… Oh, and the bra ads that would singe at my heart until the nerve numbed.
WHAT GAVE YOU AN INKLING THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG?
It was a cup of lemonade on a flight back from Portugal — pink lemonade for Breast Cancer Awareness in October that nudged me to get a second opinion.
Earlier in the spring, I had expressed concern to my GYN about a small sesame-seed sized abnormality in my right breast. She had shrugged off any worry. A few months later in October, on the plane, when I felt for the lump, it had grown to the size of a grape. I made a call the next day for a mammogram… Pink lemonade: I do know firsthand how these little nudges for awareness can save a life!
WHAT HAS SURPRISED YOU IN THE PROCESS?
What I’d like to assert most of all is that self acceptance and self care don’t always come naturally, but, rather, with rebellious and sometimes grief-fueled dedication to a sense of safety, pleasure, and joy in one’s body. Engaging my senses, delighting in the sensations of my skin… I push beyond the discomfort to find the magic.
We often see strength and confidence and get misled by an idea of ease, not seeing the difficulty, forgetting the deliberation and tenacity it takes to assert oneself with confidence and love.
STORY PRODUCED BY THE FOLKLORE HOUSE
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